Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
