Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
