I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
