hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
