i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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