Farmville is her only friend.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize