You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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