after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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