What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
