i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
