how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
