i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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