this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
