Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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