Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
