If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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