its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
