You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
