i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
