You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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