I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
