he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
