Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
