weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
