Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I DEMAND FORESKIN
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
