talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
