Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I am one with the molecules
We need to feng shui this bitch.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
