I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize