So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
People in love make me want to vomit
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize