Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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