According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
