id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
