speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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