Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Randomize
