I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
