I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
we made out on top of his cat.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
