I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
