i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
