$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
high people should be assigned attendants
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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