well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
