But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
