Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize