I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
