didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
