Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
