Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
