i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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