Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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