mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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