you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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