Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
