Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
