can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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