the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Randomize