Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
