you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
