Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
