What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
